"Taking it Seriously" Kills the Opportunity for a New, Fresh Perspective

Introduce yourself in a few words..

Hello. My name is Stanislava, but everyone calls me Stasi. Founder of Mindfulness Bulgaria – the first organization in our country that presented the scientifically studied MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) program, created by Prof. Jon Kabat-Zinn. I am a psychologist with international practice, trained and certified in the UK and Belgium, with over 15 years of experience in the field of mental health, adult education, and cultural adaptation. I created Mindfulness Bulgaria to bring back a valuable skill to our home – the ability to be fully present in our own lives, with awareness and gentleness. Mindfulness is a bridge between ancient wisdom and modern science – and that’s exactly how I teach it: without unnecessary mysticism, but with depth, heart, and effect. I work with both companies and organizations, as well as individual clients, including elderly people, women in menopause, international students, refugees, and people who need psychological support.

How would you describe your career in a few words?

A journey  to find the truth, whose initial “station” was art,  theater, and childhood education, initially aimed at seeking and understanding others – other national cultures and societies, through businesses, organizations, teams near and far, and now it begins to slow down and contemplatively return to within, to our essence, which is universal.

Building bridges, between everything and everyone, sometimes even impossible bridges. 😊

What was the most important choice that shaped your path?

Important choices have always been present in my life most often in the form of a decision to end the old way of life and to open my mind to something new. Because before a person makes a decision to act, he/she must first feel the need for change. One of the important choices that turned my path 90 degrees, if not 120, (I won’t say 180) 😊, is my choice to apply to work in the team of Bulgarians that the US Peace Corps was recruiting in Bulgaria at the time. In less than a month, I went through a thorough selection process that lasted a week. Back then we didn’t know what an assessment center was, but that’s exactly what it was. First, we had an interview, and after that – 7 days from morning to evening in a workshop mode, in which everyone’s behavior was evaluated. After this very interesting selection, we were left with half – a small group of 8 people. After that, we went through another week of training on how to support the Peace Corps volunteers, how to teach them Bulgarian, how to provide them with information about Bulgarian culture, and the differences between us. We learned the history of the Peace Corps from its founding in 1961 by John F. Kennedy and about the projects that the volunteers, (all American citizens, educated - graduated universities/colleges, with experience in the fields of business, ecology, or teaching English in schools) would work on in Bulgaria. I worked with the Peace Corps from 1996 to 2000. During those years, I gained incredible knowhow about how to manage a large organization, how to seek, take, and give feedback, what good team management means, what a good and synchronized team actually means, how to train adults so that this training leads to the desired change in their behavior – i.e., to real learning, how to take into account their personal characteristics, motivation, communication styles, and learning styles; Separately, I also mastered the great wealth of the science of intercultural differences and how they affect the lives of people, as well as how these differences could lead to conflicts that neither side is aware of as the cause of the conflict. I was trained and qualified to conduct training in the field of intercultural differences, conflicts, adapting to foreign cultures, and dealing with culture shock. All of this presented through practical skills that stayed with me for a lifetime! I would freely say that the ‘school’ of the Peace Corps was like 2 master’s degrees from a prestigious university!

What would you like to have known at the beginning of your career, but no one told you?

Everything. From my current “bell tower,” I would have liked to be equipped with all the knowledge I have now, so that I could apply it back then 😊  But at the beginning, after university, a person usually thinks that he is ready and knows everything. This is necessary to start. To have drive, to have enough confidence. Over time, one begins to realize that in fact, one starts to ‘know’ even less, and less. And that’s okay.

I would not only like to receive advice – as knowledge – but also someone to have helped me back then to acquire the quality of not taking myself so “seriously,” not taking others that way, nor work. Of course, everything is important, especially that things are done well, with diligence, and thought. With critical thinking. But “taking seriously” kills the opportunity for a new, fresh perspective, for lightness and even joy, laughter, which we all need so much lately. You have probably observed how in movies people work hard, but also have a lot of fun. Or how musicians create a new album and record songs. Just like that. Without unnecessary embellishment, with a lot of authenticity, freedom of expression, spontaneity. I will allow myself to quote T.S. Eliot here: “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?” Let us return and immerse ourselves in wisdom, beyond information or knowledge.

How can a person understand which profession is suitable for him/her?

It seems I don’t have an answer to this question. People understand in many ways which clothes are suitable for them, which partner will be for “a lifetime,” what foods make them healthier…There doesn’t seem to be a clear answer for the profession. Sometimes it happens that a person builds his profession according to his “measure,” or even creates a completely new profession. Other times, a person prepares with desire for some profession, studies for years, then gets that long-dreamed position in a certain company, organization, and…months later… leaves, changes his profession and never returns to the old one. People – different, choices – countless. But, to answer, even so: it is necessary for a person to try to do some of the tasks characteristic of that profession, to get to know it, understand it, and evaluate whether he/she has the qualities and skills necessary for that profession, with all its benefits and negative aspects, whether there is an internal motivation to perform the activities that characterize that profession, to comprehend the context of professional commitments, in a given country, organization, and team. To avoid being verbose, here are examples from all my thoughts so far:

-          You can create a completely new profession – and then you will be unique and singular and will do it better than the remaining billions on the planet: like the Japanese Shoji Morimoto from Tokyo, who is hired by different people to be with them, to be present, where they are, for a while, while they do various things – work, ride a bike, sleep in the next room, dig in their garden. And Shoji just exists, listens to them, and does nothing else. His profession is that of a non-doer. And he creates it not out of laziness, but to help people make sense of their actions, to be a kind of mirror, a human presence that does not judge them, but is truly there and hears them.

-          My friend - a bright, educated boy - fell into the “cliché” – under the pressure of his parents, he started studying at a business university, for a supposedly “prestigious diploma.” He liked it, it suited him even. He became a businessman, then a partner in a large company, and gradually realized that this profession was not “his thing,” that despite the good “money,” he needed “more air.” He changed his profession and became a bird researcher in a reserve.

-          For at least 25 years, all the more dreamy and artistic children have been striving from an early age to enter show business and the film industry. In the early 2000s, thousands of children flocked to London for auditions for the “Harry Potter” movies. Some got very lucky and were chosen. Others, with parents with more money and ambitions, continued to fight for a place under the hot sun of Hollywood, but many of them realized over the years that it was more likely to win a million dollars in the lottery than to become famous in cinema. Despite this, those who truly loved this thankless and very, very difficult art - cinema, determined to tie their lives to it, do not notice the unforgivable competition, move forward, create their own projects, and although they cannot make a living from cinema, they do what they love, at least 30% of their time. Such is a friend of mine from the Island. By day, she works as part of the Emergency team, and for all the remaining time, she is a camera operator and lighting technician on small film projects.

And so, in short: when a person seeks, knows, dreams, has the will, perseverance, and patience to try different things in practice, when he/she has the courage to live, sooner or later he/she finds the “suitable” profession, or occupation, (in today’s Gig Economy, no one does just one thing, and everyone has at least two professions).

Which skills do you think will be key in the next 10 years?

Given the political, economic, and technological changes, I think a key skill will be the ability for critical thinking and the ability to distinguish reality from fiction, to make connections between different facts and integrate them into a story, into thought;

Everything related to AI and Big Data, as well as ensuring cybersecurity.

Another skill will be the ability to think strategically, with a holistic view of many systems simultaneously, to know ways of creating strategies – through the use of storytelling methods, futurism, data analysis and forecasting, design thinking, and the approach to inner self-improvement, (perfecting the Inner Game); In a word – the ability to make quick conclusions about the overall context, to find connections between many different things and events, to unite them in a new way, and to create novelties – creative or innovative thinking.

A group of skills will be the so-called human skills – for finding, naming, and working with emotions, for empathy, for awareness and goodwill in relationships with others, for a range of attitudes, (attitudes),  that many organizations still cannot boast of, that their leaders possess: awareness and inclusion, ethics and respect for the dignity of each, skills for creating an atmosphere in which everyone could feel good, valued and appreciated, to be themselves. Emotional intelligence.

What is the biggest mistake you have made in your career, and what did you learn from it?

The path of everyone – life and career – is filled  with peaks and valleys. The valleys sometimes look like mistakes, like standing still, like a restart, or even sometimes like failure. And, of course, one of the mistakes I made was that since I am good at my job, everywhere in the world, I would be accepted as a professional. Well, right from my first job outside Bulgaria, I realized that everyone, regardless of their nationality, organization, culture, or even intellect, first perceives you as a person, usually carrying the power from the ‘position’ at the moment, applying all possible labels and stereotypes to you, realizing what your nationality is. If in most cultures and countries, when people are hired, they have to prove that they are suitable for the position they were chosen for, at least for 6 months, (while their probation period lasts), in Bulgaria it seems to be different. If a given specialist is hired, they already become part of the team and are accepted along with the others. That was at least the case for me when I was hired to lead Training and development and internal communication at Globul back in 2001, their second year as the second mobile phone service provider in the country. After 8 wonderful years at Globul, where I earned the respect of all colleagues, in all departments, after I built a team of 10 people, I left Bulgaria to follow my husband, a Brit, who had taken a position in Brussels at that time. I knew colleagues working in Brussels who spoke about job opportunities where I could apply. And when we moved, (I was also with our 4-month-old daughter and her 6-year-old sister), the long process of proving who you are, how much you are worth, of fighting against stereotypes for a Bulgarian from HR and business consulting circles, of constantly searching for “your place” and “your tribe” under foreign skies began. For some professions, (finance, trade, engineering, and of course, IT) the transition for Bulgarians seeking a good position somewhere in Western Europe is smoother, without major upheavals. In my profession, which is in the human sector in organizations, in organizational psychology, local specialists were preferred, and very rarely foreigners. So, from the perspective of my career path, going West was a delay, even a return to the starting position, I would say, and almost a restart of my career path. I do not regret it, because this big turn led me to the place and moment I am in now. And I would say that with what I do now, I feel “at home.” If I had to give advice to a young specialist at 30, who really wants to “try” life in another country, because he thinks it will be “better” – I would say, (and this is my own lesson) – a person should weigh all the positives and possible risks and negatives and look at major changes in their career not only as financial achievements, (what salary or benefits they would receive), but to realize that every move “abroad” is much more than just finding a job, a place to live, and catching a plane somewhere: it is a real restart of your entire life, as you know it.

How to recognize a toxic work environment and when is it time to leave?

I have a short answer, and I have a longer one. The short answer: if the stress at work is more than the satisfaction from doing it with the people around you, your team, and your bosses, and from the financial security it provides you, leave. The choice between financial security and health is not easy at all, and at some point, we have all fallen into this trap. But maybe it’s good not to wait until we get seriously ill, just because we put our financial security on a pedestal.

Yes, that's what everyone does. We demonstrate prestige, a successful career, all of this, for which money and material possessions are a symbol. When will what we have be enough, to be both healthy and maintain the balance between the material world we live in and our non-material needs, (for peace, for the joy of ordinary life, for rest, for time to walk in nature).

And now the longer conversation:

Another topic is toxic organizational culture. Recently, there has been a lot of talk about this.

The environment in a company can be felt and experienced as difficult, toxic, unbearable, painful, without actually being so. The key is in the presence or absence of intentionality and systematism: recurring behaviors - from many people, over a long period, systemic toxicity. The difference lies in the readiness and willingness of leaders, of people in the organization to change the situational 'toxicity' before it becomes systemic.

When does a company, team, work relationship become toxic?

A toxic work environment is one where systematically unhealthy behavior patterns are maintained – lack of respect, passive or open aggression, neglect of human needs and boundaries. Such an environment not only hinders effectiveness but undermines self-esteem and mental health of people.

This is not just a place where you feel 'uncomfortable'. Toxic culture manifests where:

·       Chronic lack of respect;

·       Communication is full of accusations, passive aggression, or complete silence;

·       Values are only on paper, but not lived;

·       Even the most capable people feel exhausted, unheard, or undervalued.

You can check if your environment is toxic by these signs – if you observe as facts that:

·       Communication is a trap, not a bridge. Every conversation is a minefield – you feel you have to think through every word.

·       There is a culture of blame-seeking. Instead of looking for solutions, people look for culprits.

·       Neglect of the person. You are expected to be available at all times, personal boundaries are not respected.

·       Fear of mistakes. There is a lack of psychological safety – no one dares to be vulnerable.

·       Turnover and silence. People leave, and the rest remain silent out of fear and resignation.

How to know when it's time to leave? When:

·       Attempts to change or talk hit a wall;

·       You notice anxiety, insomnia, emotional exhaustion – your body is already speaking;

·       You feel that you are increasingly 'pretending' to be yourself;

·       There is a constant conflict between your personal and organizational values.

We are individuals and people with a unique combination of character traits, values, psycho-neuro-physiological state, culture, mentality, understandings, expectations, etc. But for every person, the most human thing applies – when your body says 'no more' – listen to it. It doesn't make mistakes.

The truth is simple: sometimes leaving is not an escape – but an act of inner maturity.
We choose ourselves. And that is professional.

An example from practice:
Yesterday, April 28, 2025, BBC published the results of an independent review of its organizational culture, conducted by the consulting firm Change Associates. The report concluded that although BBC does not demonstrate systemic toxicity, there are serious issues, including abuse of power by influential individuals, lack of accountability, and fear among employees to report misconduct. In response to these findings, BBC committed to large-scale reforms, including the introduction of a new code of conduct, updated disciplinary policies, and the creation of a new complaint reporting line. ​

What would you do differently if you could start over?

It depends on where we set the beginning? 😊

If I just graduated as a psychology student – I wouldn't change anything about this path of mine. Maybe I would only invite meditation and mindfulness training earlier in my life. The balance we seek in our environment, we first find within ourselves. Without doing this inner work, we won't be successful 'out there'. In anything.
I would also give more to children – to my daughters, as well as to all others – in schools, universities, colleges… More of my experience, of myself. As a mother, mentor, teacher. While they still need us, before they embark on their own independent paths and choices. I would give them a shoulder, more attention, and listening without judgment or criticism.

How to keep our motivation in times of stagnation?

Stagnation is a moment – prolonged or not – for rest, for returning to intentions, to the initial goal, even to oneself. It is precisely in moments of stagnation that I have learned more about myself and the meaning of everything, and I have made important decisions for change. Let’s view 'stagnation' as the much-needed pause, the doing-nothing, which is a very, very important practice for understanding the world.

How to achieve balance between professional and personal life?

On this topic, I would write a whole article. 😊

When is it time to change our career, not just the job?

After the moment of stagnation from the previous question 😊

If you had to give just one piece of advice to people seeking success, what would it be?

Not to seek success. To approach themselves consciously – their skills, aspirations, even their dreams, their needs for development, towards their own North Star, to understand what their mission is in this life. And to embark on this path with small steps, without rushing or seeking quick and shallow solutions, to know that there will be trials and errors, and that this is normal. To 'get their hands dirty' and cleanse their soul through the things they do and to be generous to others.

What is your definition of a 'successful career'?

Such a career/life path, with which at the end of your life, others would say, he changed himself, us, lived a meaningful and fulfilling life, and you would have no regrets or remorse for the time missed with your loved ones.