When you love what you do, work energizes you

Desi Stoyanova – teacher and consultant in media and presentation skills. Drawing on over 25 years of experience in the media and public space, I help people who want to become better at the art of speaking in front of others. I pass on the knowledge and skills I have accumulated to professionals who want to be able to tell their story and their business in the best way, to make their presentations impactful and memorable, and to ensure their interviews do not end without having said the most important things.

What did you dream of becoming in your childhood years?

I was one of those children who didn’t know what they wanted to do. One wanted to be a doctor, another – a lawyer, a third – a firefighter. I considered those with ready answers to be lucky. For me, the question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” that the adults around me constantly asked created discomfort. The expectation was to know, but I didn’t know.

At one point, I think it was in the 6th or 7th grade, the dream of becoming a writer was born. I even started writing my first novel. It remained unfinished in a notebook that is probably still gathering dust in my parents' basement. In the following years, that dream took a back seat, but my love for writing remained, and it has always been a part of my professional life. And who knows, one day when I have more time, I might finally sit down and write my first book.

At what age did you earn your first money? Share an interesting story with us?

I earned my first money as an intern-reporter in the international department of the newspaper “Segа”. I applied for the competition they announced with deep skepticism regarding my chances of being chosen, but it turned out that I performed the best and received my first official job offer in my life. At that time, I was a second-year student at the Faculty of Journalism at Sofia University and had decided that I was old enough to start earning my own money. The competition at “Segа” came at a time when I had already applied to a company for a teacher of English to children. They approved me there too, and in the next moment, I found out that I had two jobs at the same time. Several times a week, I ran from “Slavyanska” 29, where the newspaper's editorial office was, to the kindergarten where a group of about 30 kids aged 3-4 was waiting for me. The task of getting them to sit on their little chairs so we could learn what a book is and what a monkey is in English turned out to be much more complicated than I had imagined. I didn’t last long. Maybe just a few months. At one point, I started dreaming against the backdrop of repeating children’s songs in English and I quit. I continued at “Segа” and to this day I am grateful for everything I learned there and for the support I received from all the more experienced colleagues.

What are the main factors and examples that shape us as individuals at an early age and form our interests?

Parents are extremely important. The environment in which a child grows up. The examples they see around them. Whether you are raised through fear and limitations or through encouragement and support has a huge impact on what kind of adult you will become. When you are encouraged from a young age to explore unknown territories, to follow the urge of new interests, to try even at the risk of making mistakes, as an adult you act bolder and with greater scope. You can achieve a lot more easily. Moreover, you find your true calling more easily.

Children should be given the opportunity to try, to experiment, to make mistakes. We should encourage their natural curiosity. Too often, modern parents choose everything for their children. They decide whether to play the piano or the violin. Whether to train volleyball or athletics. Whether to learn Spanish or French. And while they supposedly do everything in the name of the good and future of their children, they turn them into anxious performers whose schedule is fuller than that of an average working adult. When interests are imposed “from above,” it is much harder to discover your authentic interest. When you have too many tasks, you don’t have time to explore, to cultivate your own curiosity about life and the different paths you can take. And when you finally grow up and can make decisions for yourself, you find it difficult to make choices, that the fear of failure is so great that you are unable to take even the smallest risk. And without risk, there is no growth.

Has there been any significant change in your perceptions in more mature age regarding what motivates you to do or not do something?

Certainly, with the accumulation of life and professional experience, both the way a person views themselves and their motivation change. To this day, I am much more aware of myself than I was when I started my career at 20-something. I know who I am, what is important to me. I no longer let others' expectations define me. I know that there are things that depend on me and others that do not, and I try not to confuse the two. This makes me free and gives me a sense of inner balance and calm. I can make my choices consciously.

At the core of the motivation to do or not do something are your values. When you are clear about them, decisions are easy and motivation is present; it is not something you search for like a needle in a haystack.

Whose decision was it where to pursue higher education and what to study? Was that decision correct, looking back today?

It was clear that I would apply for a major that required Bulgarian and history. Exact sciences were neither my strength nor my passion. My parents tried to guide me towards law, but I didn’t listen to them. I chose to apply for “journalism” on the principle of elimination. Since I wasn’t sure what I wanted, I sat down with the list of majors that required Bulgarian and history and started: This “no,” this “no,” this “no.” And in the end, only a few remained. Given that I loved writing, journalism seemed to me the most interesting choice. Ironically, the topic for the Bulgarian language entrance exam was about Vaptsarov - one of the two authors I hadn’t prepared well for. I scored a three and something. The high grades in the written and oral exams in journalism were not enough to compensate for the effect of that three on my overall score, and in the first ranking, I was not on the list of accepted “Journalism” students. I was ranked in the “Slavic Philology” major, which I had written as a backup choice. From many sides, I was advised to enroll in philology as my first major, and journalism as my second. So I did. In the next two years, I studied “Polish Philology.” At the end of my second year, I realized that I found very little meaning in deepening my knowledge of Old Bulgarian and comparative grammar of Slavic languages, and I applied to transfer to journalism. Given that I had a high success rate, I was accepted. Thus, from the second attempt, my path in journalism began.

Share more about your interests and hobbies?

It may sound clichéd, but I am one of the lucky ones for whom work is a hobby. I love what I do, in the way that people love their hobbies. My work energizes me, constantly introduces me to new people, opens new horizons for me, gives me meaning, and brings me satisfaction. I dedicate all my free time from work to my children and loved ones. So there is no time for hobbies.

Would you change your profession today and which fields of activity capture your interest?

I would not change it. The path I have traveled, with all its twists and sometimes unexpected turns, has made me the person and professional I am today. Every lesson has been valuable. I started as a reporter in a newspaper, then I was a reporter at bTV News, followed by several years as an editor in lifestyle magazines AMICA, MAX and L’EUROPEO, culminating in the 12 years I was the host of “Before Noon.” Everything I accumulated in terms of knowledge, skills, and experience in these different roles became an inspiration and a driving force for my new calling – to help others be more confident, more persuasive, and more impactful in their public speaking and presence. Teaching brings me immense professional pleasure. 

They say that personal branding is everything that people say about you when you are not in the room with them. What would you like to hear today?

I cannot know what is said when I am not in the room, but almost every day I am given a new reason to feel satisfied with what people who have gone through my training in presentation and media skills share as feedback. I take the fact that they recommend me to their friends and colleagues as the greatest recognition. Without seeking it, I continue to receive many compliments for the years I was the host of “Before Noon.” All of this reinforces my belief that when a person is honest, sincere, and dedicated to their work, it is noticed, appreciated, and rewarded.

What are the most important conclusions you have drawn so far about maintaining proper communication considering the different characters of the people you meet daily – colleagues, friends, loved ones?

I don’t know what you mean by “proper” communication. I certainly know that at the core of effective, working communication are 3 things – first, to be careful with the curse of knowledge (we often assume that others know everything we know, and that is not the case), second, to be careful with tone (sometimes tone can completely change the message), and third, to listen, to be open to the other person's perspective. When you listen, the person opposite feels seen and heard, and communication flows regardless of the characters and how difficult the topic is.

What do you think about money? What is their influence on your life? What is your advice to people who often ask themselves questions related to money and how sufficient they are?

How much is “enough” is a very subjective question. For me, it is one thing, for you – another. The important thing is for everyone to find and work out their own “enough.” I do not find it meaningful or productive to be overly fixated on money, nor to attempt to totally neglect it as a topic.

What is the most valuable career advice you would give to people?

Not to be afraid to seek their true professional calling until they find it. A person does not always succeed on the first try. It is never too late to change, to alter. When you have a real understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and give yourself the freedom to follow your aspirations, you can go unexpectedly far.